Light at the end of the tunnel

With final exams just around the corner, it really does feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel!

* Photo source unknown. Digital editing suspected.

Countdown

One week until final exams.

One month and one day until I see Terence.

Five weeks until I see my family.

Wooo hoooo!

:-)

The blog comes out from hibernation!

My poor dormant blog. I thought it was about time to update this, it has been very neglected over the last year! Five minutes ago marked the end of my last assignment for Bible College. After three weeks and two exams, I'll have finally finished my BMin. It's hard to believe. It has been a hard slog at times, doing it for the most part along with full time work. The last year in particular has passed like a blur (thus the poor dormant blog) and I look back on it with feelings of awe that I actually survived it, much less came out with some degree of sanity intact! Despite the busyness, it has been a great year.

Significant happenings in 2008....

* I began the new year with 20,000+ people at "One Thing," a conference in Kanas City, MI, U.S.A by IHOP (that's International House of Prayer, not International House of Pancakes). I've already written about it here, and it's impact on me has continued throughout the year.

* While at IHOP I sensed God asking me to "surrender my singleness" to him. I knew exactly what he was talking about, and he was asking for very valid reasons, which I won't go into here (but feel free to ask more!). With some difficulty and grudgingness (I know that's not a real word) I did so and returned to Canada still very happy being single but with a new sense of freedom that tends to follow surrender.

* Within a couple of weeks of being back in Canada in January, a friendship with my good friend of three years, Terence, "evolved" into something more, and we've been going out ever since. It was possibly pure coincidence, but I think it's highly likely that it is related to the aforementioned event in the U.S. of A. ;-) God makes me smile. 

* At the end of June I drove from Ontario to Alberta with Evelyn, John and Monique (more good friends, and Terence's parents and sister). 

Totaling about 3,500 km it definitely goes down in my drive-to-remember-book, especially Saskatchewan, one of the flat middle-provinces....

I spent July and the first part of August in AB visiting Terence and staying with some of his relatives there. We went on a couple of beautiful trips to the Rocky Mountains - they are absolutely stunning and give N.Z. some serious beauty-competition!

* My brother Tommy and his girlfriend Aimee got engaged! (I'm glad Tommy has the good sense to make sure an Aimee Winnington stays in the family!). Their wedding is going to be at the end of January '09, can't wait! :-)

* Earlier this year I told the family I've been nannying for for the last 3.5 years that I'll be finishing up in December. I will miss them, it's been a great few years! It's so hard to believe that the youngest was only 2 1/2 and still in diapers when I started, and is now nearly 6 and in grade 1. :-)

* Terence and I are going to New Zealand to spend Christmas with my family this year! It will be 18 months since I was last home so I can't wait to see everyone again, and for them to meet Terence and vice versa. We're not sure how long we'll be in N.Z. yet, but probably at least a few months. There are many unknowns, but as he always is, I know God will be faithful to lead us in the direction we need to go. After being away from home for nearly 4 years, it will be great to spend more time with family and friends, but I also have very mixed feelings about leaving Canada indefinitely because it has been very much "home." We have return tickets to Canada, so it's nice to know we will be returning within a year at least! 

In reflecting on the last year, these are a few things that come to mind. Despite the unknowns, I'm looking forward to 2009. And maybe the blog will come out of hibernation a little more often. :-)

Winnington Moments

Watch More Videos Uploaded by www.bebo.com/lizzbiff_skinny


Elizabeth sent me a movie from home, on a Saturday morning clean-up day. :-) Can't wait to see you all in December! xoxo

An acciDENTAL poem inspired by recent [traumatic!] events

The Mouth Massacre
by Amy Winnington


'Twas the day of the dentist, I walked into his lair
And pretend to look calm as I climb in the chair

Willing me not to open, my mouth feels like lead
And visions of needles dance about in my head

The dentist in his mask, and I in my neck-things
He leans toward me as the stereo sings

They probably hope it will drown out the drills
More effective, I think, would be very strong pills

My eyes scan the room for some place to hide
And as the needle approaches my eyes open wide

"All you'll feel is a small pinch," I'm assured
All lies! It feels like a double-edged sword

My eyes start to water as I grip onto the chair
The dentist says "sorry," but really doesn't care

Anesthetic kicks in and the mouth feels like lead
As visions of dollar signs dance in his head

Then from the nurse there arose such a clatter
That I turn my head to see what is the matter

I see in her hand she is holding a drill
Which she passes to the dentist, it's time for *the kill*

Metal and electric, it resembles a power tool
What kind of person invented something so cruel?

"Open wide," he instructs, "open wide, wider, wider!"
I obediently listen to my health care provider

In goes the drill and as it starts to grind
I try to convince myself that fear is in the mind

I picture the concrete driller I saw down the road
And try to shake off the feelings of forbode

The dentist stuffs something else in my mouth
It wouldn't be surprising if he crammed in a house

I think I see blood and my suspicion is correct
It splatters everywhere as he bends to inspect

At last he announces, "there! We're done!"
By the tone of his voice it sounds like he's had fun

I mumble a "thank you" in numbed-mouth style
And smile a sickly, insincere smile

I've never been so happy to leave the House of Pain
Hoping against hope I need never visit it again

I walk briskly from the clinic with zeal and sprite...
"Happy oral health to all and to all a good bite!"

Doing and Being

It suddenly occurred to me this evening that we tend to spend far more time and energy thinking about what we want to do in life, and not much time thinking about who we want to be (or more importantly, who God wants us to be).


I'm feeling challenged by this.

One Thing/The Call, 28-31 December, 2007

I returned home from Kansas City, Missouri, USA on January 2 after the most incredible conference I’ve ever attended (and I’ve been to so many over the years I can’t even count them!). My friend Sara Victoria, who has been in KC at the International House of Prayer for the last month, told me about One Thing just a couple of weeks ago. I very strongly felt I was to go, and everything from already having time off work, to cheap flights ($280 return!) and a place to stay (with the family Sara Victoria was with) fell into place very quickly. I left with a sense of expectation and have returned with all expectation far exceeded by what I heard, saw, and experienced there.

Sara Victoria and Gil picked me up from the airport the night I arrived in KC and we had a car accident on the way to Gil and Debbie’s place. I don’t tend to assume every mishap is "from the enemy" but in this instance really felt it was an attempt to keep us from a "date with destiny" (to use Michael’s words!). A teenage girl who was going too fast for the slippery conditions slid onto our side of the road around a corner. Gil swerved and avoided a head-on, and the ditch, but she took out the whole left side of the van. Thankfully none of us were hurt, and insurance for the van was sorted out the next day. When God plans for us to be somewhere, nothing and noone will stop that happening! We all felt very grateful for His protection.
After registering the next day, Sara Victoria and I were lining up in Bartle Hall waiting for the conference to start, and we literally bumped into our friend Michael from England! We’d known we’d all be there, but had no idea how to connect in the middle of approx. 20,000 people! So that was very cool. God takes care of all these little details so much more effectively than we can! Mine and Sara’s friend Sylvia, from Ottawa, ON. arrived late that night. I think it was quite significant that in the middle of a big conference focusing primarily on issues pertinent to the USA, there was a little group of us representing four other Nations - Canada, England, Ireland and New Zealand...countries for whom God’s heart breaks and yearns for also.

It’s hard to put into words what’s been imparted to me over these few days. It felt like pieces of a puzzle were being put together in so many ways. Over the last few years God has been doing a work of healing and restoration in my life, laying a foundation for deeper trust in my relationship with Him, and revealing Himself as Father, Friend, Counselor and "Home." Throughout One Thing He began to impart a deep fear of God in my heart (not the run-and-hide kind of fear, but the kind that invokes reverance and awe!), and I began to feel the depth of the grief and anger of God over the sin, pain, and chaos in this broken world. In the past I was too caught up in my own brokenness to see much further, but I am being awoken to see the world which Jesus gave His life to redeem through the filters of having tasted of that redemption myself. The words of a song by Sufjan Stevens come to mind, "He woke me up again..."As members of the Kingdom of God, we are a part of something so much bigger than ourselves and I’ve always known this, but know I KNOW it! I feel gripped by the call of Jesus to partner with Him in prayer in His fulfilling of eternal purpose which isn’t just limited to this earth, but the future new earth which will be revealed when His Kingdom comes in it’s fullness.

I’ve always loved worship and prayer, and have felt increasingly called to "waste time" in God’s presence over the last couple of years but have struggled with being consistent in the middle of a busy work and study schedule. During a session at One Thing, Holy Spirit asked me to make a life-long commitment to daily spend a specific and significant amount of time, which He named, in prayer. I was a bit shocked as it felt impossible, but after bargaining a bit (okay, I’m a slow learner!) I said "yes." I’m trusting that as I’m obedient to do what God considers priority, He will help me work my other "priorities" (full-time work + full-time study all in one!) around it. Being outside of time, I’m sure He can manage this somehow! Now I’m getting over the fear of not being able to do it, I feel really honoured that Jesus would ask me to set aside this time for Him, and I’m really excited about what each days holds for our time together. One speaker at the conference said "we need God to love God" - it’s so true, I could never have done this before, but the time in prayer today went so fast and was such a joy. He is so faithful to enable us to follow through with what He asks.

On 31 December from 12 noon - midnight was "The Call"...there were apparently 30,000 people there and it was one long prayer/worship/fast gathering. I doubted I’d be able to actively engage in prayer for that amount of time, but it was almost as though we were caught up in another time zone and the first time I checked my watch, nearly 5 hours had passed! There could be no better way to end a year and see in the beginning of a new one. For a few hours the prayer focus was on abortion and Lou Engle gave a very sobering word (it will be available to listen to on the International House of Prayer website, www.ihop.org) on this, bringing an undeniably prophetic word about the seriousness of this "holocaust" and the implications for nations which allow it and churches which do nothing about it. A lady shared about how many years ago she was in an abortion clinic waiting for her turn, and heard someone say, "Not this one! Not this one!" The voice kept repeating, and she thought it was her husband who was there with her. They didn’t follow through with the abortion (the baby-now-teenager was on stage with them!) and realised it was the voice of Jesus they were hearing. Lou Engle said it was the voice of Jesus’ intercession to the Father this lady heard. What a challenge to us to learn to listen, and pray in agreement with the very prayers Jesus Himself prays...

Along these lines, I’ve been feeling challenged again by a picture I saw during a prayer meeting at church a year or so ago. There was a huge, vast room full of people. They were lying all over the floor, with no room between them. They were in various states, all of them sick, injured, or dying. A person walked into the room carrying a guitar, and not even seeing all the bodies, walked over them, stood in the middle of the room, and "led worship." After doing their thing, they left, and another person, also seemingly blind to the desperate state of the people everywhere, walked over them and played worship music on a piano. They left, the scene is repeated with another person who trampled over all the bodies, stood in the middle, and preached up a storm, then left. A fourth person enters the room and actually sees all the people lying everywhere. They are horrified and shocked, and then notice Jesus right in the middle, kneeling beside one person. The fourth person walks up to Jesus and asks, "What are you doing? How do you know where to start?!" Jesus looked up from the single person He was tending to and said, "I am doing what I see my Father doing. Will you join me?"

Through the time at One Thing, I am feeling an increasing "fear" of operating out of my own good ideas in life and ministry, and doing what I think is "right" to do. I fear getting out of step with Jesus and walking to the beat of my own drum, so to speak....because I see more clearly than ever that by doing so, it’s not only me that is affected, but the lives of others, and even the heart of God. Learning to live and minister out of a place of intimacy with God and obedient surrender isn’t just about feeling peace and joy and fluffy spiritual feelings (although that all happens!), but is a life-and-death issue with consequences that impact eternity.


"I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star." The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life" – Revelation 22:16-18

Planets and Hieroglyphs

It's hard to believe nearly two months have passed since I last wrote here. I know some people who update their blogs every week, or more amazing still, every day. *Gasp.* Life has passed with a bit of a blur since I came back to Canada in August. When I'm not working, I'm studying...that is pretty much it! It has been rather stressful but I'm somehow still sane. The last paper was finished a few days ago, and now there is two weeks to prepare for two exams. I'm looking forward to "Summer" break until February.

Sadly, I'm not going back to New Zealand for Christmas this year so I'll experience my first ever white Christmas. I hope it's actually white. Last year it didn't snow for Christmas, but snowed for Easter! It was all wrong! The weather has been nice and warm until just recently and each day feels a little bit colder. Not that I really notice much, since I'm at my desk a lot of the time! What other news...oh, I got a new laptop which is very exciting! It enables me to be much more productive since it's really fast with lots of handy features. I'm looking forward to exploring it more when studies are over. I really want to learn some of the Adobe programs so I'm going to keep my eye out for a workshop course or something. Failing that, I might just have to get a manual and attempt the self-teach thing, but it looks so complicated. I still do cartooning from time to time (http://www.aemestoons.blogspot.com) and it would be fun to learn how to add different effects to them etc.

In the next couple of months I'll be starting my third year Bible College practicum with Grace Evangelical Missionary Church, the church I've been attending for the last two years. The focus of my practicum will be Spiritual Formation; I'm really looking forward to starting, it is going to be challenging and stretching and I'm counting on learning a lot! Jeff, the pastor, will be supervising me. I think he'll be great, and I'm glad I can be under his leadership.

Next weekend I'm going to Singing Waters in Orangeville to minister at a Healing Encounter. It's been months since I was last able to get up there so it will be nice to see everyone again.
Well, back to exam prep. Below are a few photos from the last little while....




Last night I had the opportunity to go with the Graingers to the school conservatory. We were shown around, and got to use the huge, fancy, telescope. We saw a rare comet in the eastern sky (can't remember what it is called, sorry). Conditions have to be perfect to see it, so we were apparently really lucky. I looked like a blurred ball; that was apparently the gas. Most exciting of all, we got to see Jupiter! I held my camera up to the eye piece of the telescope and got pictures, couldn't believe they turned out. Here it is here.

In this picture you can see Jupiter and its four moons, although they are little blurred, unfortunately. I didn't have a tripod and it was hard to keep my hands steady while standing on a wobbly ladder!

Pauline, the kids' grandmother, made me this beautiful quilt and gave it to me recently. She did every stitch by hand, it is so beautiful, I love it! It amazes me that people can have that kind of patience, put in sooo many hours, and then give their work of art away. It is something I will have for the rest of my life, and it will always remind me of her. She is such a lovely lady.

Here's Spencer, Matthew and I reading bedtime stories. They are both dressed up in their New Toronto Maple Leaf pyjamas, hats, and mittens that their other grandmother, Rose-Marie, had just given them. I should be wearing blue, we would all match Matthew's room! Rose-Marie has spent the last two weeks with us. She came for Monica's birthday and then helped me with the kids last week while Monica and Stuart were away. It was really nice to see her again, she is lovely. She came all the way from Vancouver, and just left this morning. I know you read my blog, so sorry I didn't get to say goodbye this morning, Rose-Marie - I was so sure you were leaving this afternoon! I will see you in the Christmas holidays, no doubt. :-)

A couple of weeks ago it was Jasmine's 9th birthday and she had a party with an Egyptian theme. I had lots of fun decorating the house and making pyramid pinatas out of papier mache. Monica and I constructed the pyramid out of long sticks (which Spencer dragged in from outside!), the kids tent-playhouse, and lots of white sheets. The hieroglyphs painted in the door way say "Happy Birthday" - fun times! Between having to write exegetical essays using original Biblical languages, and decoding Egyptian, I might end up multi-lingual yet!